I have been on this tightrope walk between life and death, love and loss, for some time now. As I manuever through the path of my flamenco journey, so, too, do I navigate life. All the emotions of both are intertwined. Some days, I am happy and content with my blessings. Other days, I openly grieve for the death of love, dreams, and expectations.
(picture from en.theoutlook.com)
Being a dancer means dancing through all the emotions, especially in flamenco. And so it goes, with my journey, that I find myself dancing between living life and facing death.
Flamenco is a unique form of dancing that allows everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, to surface in your expression of the dance. But what no one tells you is how hard that sometimes is. I try to use everything I have inside me when I dance. But, it can hurt. It can hurt when the feelings you are trying so hard to suppress blast out like an erupting volcano. It can hurt when you are reminded, through your dance, how sad you feel. It can hurt, when amid your solitary practicing at home, the well opens and the tears flow. It can hurt to realize that the very thing energizing your dancing is also ripping out your heart.
Therein lies the beauty of flamenco. It is ok to feel the hurt and let the dance help you heal. It is ok to show that vulnerable, sad, disappointed or overwhelmed side. In fact, you must! That is what creates YOUR art, YOUR story, that no one else can tell.
While I process through challenging times, I know flamenco will embrace me and accompany me towards a happier horizon. I am grateful for the outlet dancing provides and for the few that love and support me. And so, I keep dancing. I keep letting it keep me.